During the winter months, there is so much to be thankful for during the Christmas season. One thing people are not thankful for is the pressure that can exist to purchase gifts for individuals within the orbit of our lives.

There are coworkers who are planning to share office tokens of friendship and camaraderie as well as family politics and drama that may be associated with what is given or not given this time of year. Advertisements, social media, television all project a message that holiday gatherings should be momentous with large feasts and tons of presents. Instead of feeling a part of the in crowd, some of us feel like we have to work extra hard to participate in spite of negative head winds affecting our emotions and feelings about the subject.

 During the year, unexpected expenses may have occurred that complicate holiday budgets. Maybe there has been a sudden or unexpected change in employment or choice of work. And then again, some of us just do not have a lot of disposable income to purchase the gifts we think or feel we need to offer to others. This may actually be a personal assumption rather than reality but some of us may feel the pressure to produce results and overwhelmingly make the person receiving the gift feel special. This can be challenging and any expression about it that does not match the positive consumer image out there can be perceived as humbug.

 There could be lingering unresolved issues between people in our families or at work. This makes the gift giving even more a grudge purchase because it is uncertain if the person will be happy with the result. The conflict is being smoothed over instead of being dealt with as holiday niceties replace sincerity in communication and resolution.

Tips to get through it if you are not feeling it

• If you are not sure if the individual receiving the gift will appreciate what you can offer, then it could be better to give them a gift voucher and a sincere Christmas card reminding them of their importance in your life. (Could be better than that ugly sweater? Maybe.)
• It is the thought that counts. When it comes to family, we should love and care about one another. If you cannot give them something, there are other ways to demonstrate that they matter to you. You could offer to help that special person with chores, cook for them, or invite them over for a simple gathering among friends at a time that is more practical.
• You could tell them the truth. Hey, it has been a tough year. Thanks for understanding that. I cannot get a gift this year. Will you accept my appreciation instead?
• Don't play the game. If a family member chooses drama over the positives, then be the more mature person. Don't fight and do not harbor negativity that will sabotage what you are trying to achieve in your life.
• You could utilize the resellers market. There is a thriving second hand market place for books, movies, and a lot of other things. Again it should be the thought that counts not the gift. People lose sight of that sometimes, but does not mean you have to at this time of year.
• Make them a gift DIY style or a grab bag of simple items that mean so much more if they are grouped together in a theme. (Example: bath kit with soaps, lotions,  and/or bath bombs )
• Talk to someone that has your back. During the winter months, some of us get down. If you do not have a friend you can talk to, there are resources out there. From priests to laypeople, there are people who can offer guidance and help you get on the right track. (Please. Please. Please. Do not let this go unaddressed if it is not simply holiday blues.)
• If you cannot make the other people in your life happy, there are others out there that can use your help. You could donate your time, give blood or platelets, or purchase holiday meals for needy families. Major grocery store chains typically have packs ready to go that cost only a few dollars or you could donate to food or need items to a distribution center directly.